22 Jun 2026 Patient and Family Stories

Katie’s story: Finding comfort, support and love at The Kirkwood

When Katie Dilnot's mum was diagnosed with Stage 4 gastric cancer in February 2023, her family began a journey filled with uncertainty, heartbreak and difficult decisions. As her mum underwent treatment and her condition changed, Katie found herself balancing the role of daughter, carer and advocate, while trying to navigate the challenges that come with supporting someone you love through a terminal illness.

Throughout that journey, The Kirkwood was there to provide support, guidance and reassurance whenever it was needed. Looking back on the care her family received, Katie says the hospice gave them something she will always be grateful for: the opportunity to focus on making precious memories together, while knowing they were being supported every step of the way.

Following her diagnosis, Katie's mum began chemotherapy and initially had little direct contact with the hospice. However, as Christmas 2024 approached, new symptoms began to emerge and the family found themselves facing an increasingly uncertain future.
Talking about her mum's diagnosis Katie said: "From the outset of mum's diagnosis, The Kirkwood were in touch to confirm they were there to offer us support and help, By this point at Christmas mum had ended her chemotherapy and we were in a rather scary unknown period,"
The Kirkwood invited Katie and her mum to attend a Welcome to Services session, where they met members of the team, learned more about the support available and explored the hospice.

"This was invaluable for us all. We met the counselling team and saw the facilities, the sense of reassurance was unbelievable. As a daughter who was caring for my mum, I felt supported and no longer scared of being alone. I remember asking, 'How will I know when it's time?' and I will always remember the response. I was told I would be supported and I only had to focus on mum. The Team with The Kirkwood would make sure I was informed as much as I wanted to be and would be with us both every step of the way. They absolutely held firm on this promise, and they were with us through it all."

Before coming to The Kirkwood, Katie admits she was nervous about what a hospice might be like: "I was very anxious about a hospice environment as what was in my head was that it was a place of sadness and made me wonder how we would cope losing mum. I could not have been more wrong."

Instead, Katie discovered a place centred on compassion, comfort and support, she continued: "Yes losing mum has been heartbreaking but that could not be stopped by anyone. However, we were in a place of love, support and kindness, not a place of sadness and loss."
As her mum's condition deteriorated in early 2025, The Kirkwood became increasingly involved in supporting the whole family. Katie recalls a home visit from Leanne, who assessed her mum's needs and helped coordinate support.

Katie explained: "She discussed the physical and emotional impact on us all and she went away and liaised with multiple teams to try and make mum as comfortable as possible and able to live well."

By mid-April 2026, Katie's mum's symptoms had worsened significantly, and The Kirkwood suggested a short admission to the In-Patient Unit to manage them would be for the best.

Katie added: "Initially I thought we would be scared of this thought as I previously had been but truthfully, we knew mum needed support that couldn't be given at home. I remember the day Mum was admitted, and we were met by Abi at the door. The feeling of a safe, peaceful and holistic place to be was just what we needed. We were welcomed like a family. Everyone knew our names, even if we hadn't met before. There was safety in the familiarity and supportive way the full team interacted with us."

Katie was initially concerned about bringing her children to visit their grandma, she said: "I was really scared to bring my children initially but on that first day we did bring them as I wanted them to be able to spend time with their grandma and not to be scared. The kids loved it, they hated the many days, weeks and months mum had spent in hospital before, but they thought The Kirkwood was different. It has a warmth that wraps itself around you and the kids felt that just as we all did."

Her son particularly loved spending time in the hospice gardens, she continued: "My son loved the gardens, and he relished the visits where he could cuddle grandma without the beeping and sterile hospital setting. We also knew mum was safe and well looked after we left and hat was so reassuring."

Over the following days, Katie's mum became increasingly unwell. Looking back, Katie believes The Kirkwood gave her mum the peace and security she needed in her final days.

She said: "I genuinely believe she felt safe enough to just relax and that made her last few days so much more peaceful. She knew she was safe and well looked after but most of all she knew she was loved."

For Katie, the greatest gift was being able to step away from caring responsibilities and simply spend time with her mum: "I could stop being her carer and be her daughter again. For 13 days I got to be a daughter again and I am truly grateful for that. We laughed, we cried, we told stories and said everything that we needed to say to each other."

The family were supported by doctors, nurses, counsellors and support staff throughout every stage of their journey: ""The doctors were led by us in terms of how open they were about mum's journey. They guided us through the final days and that gave us time to say our goodbyes in our own ways and to allow wider friends and family to visit and say goodbye."

What Katie once feared would be overwhelming sadness became something she now describes differently.
She explained: ""I thought initially that I would feel sad but honestly it was beautiful. It showed mum had a life of love. I couldn't stop this being the end of her life, but The Kirkwood allowed it to be the way we wanted. We could share with those closest to us the moments that mattered."

Katie says the support her family received on her mum's final day is something she will never forget.
Katie said: "In mum's final day I could not have been more supported. The Doctors, the nurses, the support staff, the counsellors, everyone was there for us. Mum was looked after in a respectful, loving and personal way which made her passing easier."

While losing her mum remains the hardest thing she has ever faced, Katie takes comfort in knowing her final days were filled with love: "Losing my mum has been the hardest thing to ever go through but her death, like her life was filled with love and I will always be forever grateful to The Kirkwood for that."

In recognition of the care their family received, Katie and her loved ones have already begun giving back to support local hospice care. The family raised £920, plus Gift Aid, at her mum's funeral, while Katie's nephew completed the Leeds 10K and raised a further £609 for The Kirkwood.

They also plan to attend this year's Light Up A Life service and hope to continue supporting the hospice in the future.
Katie added: "My husband and I have both said in future when we are no longer working full time we would like to volunteer for The Kirkwood too as the family of carers, nurses, volunteers and doctors all work together to make The Kirkwood so very special."

Reflecting on her family's experience, Katie believes The Kirkwood provides something invaluable for local people facing the most difficult moments in life: "This place offers support and security in the hardest time for any family. We never ever felt like a number but always like our story mattered. Our individual needs and personalities were considered, and the care was tailored to what was needed in each moment."

And for Katie, one feeling remains above all others: ""To make someone facing the very darkest of times feel seen, supported and cared for is a gift I will never forget. You are all amazing and I will be forever thankful."

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