2 Nov 2026 Community

Leslie and Jan share how The Kirkwood brought comfort after months of unbearable pain

After more than 66 years of marriage, Leslie and Jan have faced life's challenges together. However, when Leslie's cancer left him suffering from unbearable pain, the couple found themselves facing one of their most difficult periods yet. Now, after receiving specialist care from The Kirkwood, Leslie is beginning to feel like himself again, and the couple are looking forward to being reunited at home.

Leslie, 87, and his wife Jan, 83, from Lindley, have known each other for more than 70 years. Married in 1959, they have spent their lives supporting one another through good times and bad. However, when Leslie's prostate cancer spread to the bones in his spine, hips and groin, their lives changed dramatically.

Having initially been diagnosed around three years ago, Leslie began experiencing increasingly severe pain, culminating in an agonising episode in April this year. Leslie explained: “I had a terrible attack of pain across the base of my spine, my hips, my bottom and down my legs. It lasted for 24 hours, and I just couldn't get rid of it. I was crying and screaming because the pain was so bad. I couldn't find any relief from it. I couldn't lie on my left side, I couldn't lie on my right side, and I couldn't sleep on my back. Whatever position I was in, I was in pain.”

For the next five months, Leslie was repeatedly travelling between home and Huddersfield Royal Infirmary as medical professionals worked to find medication that could manage his symptoms. With Leslie also living with a heart condition, finding suitable pain relief proved particularly challenging.

Throughout this period, Jan did everything she could to care for her husband, but watching the man she had spent more than six decades alongside suffer was heartbreaking. Jan said: “Les has always had a very high pain threshold. He's never been someone to complain, but there was one particular night when the pain was so bad that he was screaming into his pillow. I had to call the district nurses three times that evening and through the night. By the following morning, things were even worse. I rang The Kirkwood for advice because I didn't know what additional medication, I could safely give him. I'm not medically trained, and I was frightened of giving him something that might make him worse. I felt like I was knitting fog, and I'm being honest when I say that. I was trying desperately to keep him healthy and look after him, but I didn't know what else I could do.”

For Jan, who had always been there to help Leslie through life's difficulties, being unable to ease his suffering was particularly distressing. She continued: “We've been married for 66 years, and when we got married, I signed up to look after him through everything life might throw at us. We're from a generation where, if there's a problem, you get on with it and try to sort it out. But this was the first time in our married life that Les had been ill, and I hadn't been able to fix it. That was the hardest thing for me. I could see how much pain he was in, but there was absolutely nothing I could do to take it away. All I could do was hold his hand, and that was heartbreaking.”

As Leslie's condition became increasingly difficult to manage at home, district nurses recognised that he needed more intensive care and observation. Following discussions involving his GP and The Kirkwood, a bed became available on the hospice's In-Patient Unit. For Jan, the phone call confirming Leslie's admission brought an overwhelming sense of relief. She recalled: “When I received the phone call from Linda from The Kirkwood saying they had a bed available for Les and that an ambulance would be coming for him within two hours, the relief was unbelievable. She told me to get a bag ready for him, and I just thought, thank goodness. I couldn't do any more to help him at home. Knowing that he was going somewhere where people could properly look after him and try to get his pain under control was an enormous relief.”

Leslie arrived on The Kirkwood’s In-Patient Unit on 17th September, still experiencing severe pain. Jan travelled alongside him in the ambulance, while their youngest daughter followed in her car. Jan explained: “Our youngest daughter could actually hear her dad screaming in pain from the ambulance while she was following us. That's how bad things had become.”

Despite the circumstances surrounding his admission, Leslie felt reassured about coming into the hospice. The family already had a longstanding connection with The Kirkwood, with their eldest daughter, Elaine, having worked for the charity for 19 years before retiring. Leslie said: “I felt confident that I was going to be looked after. I wasn't nervous about coming here because we already knew quite a lot about The Kirkwood through Elaine. She would tell us about the things they did and the care they provided, so I already had an understanding of what this place was about.”

Since arriving on the In-Patient Unit, Leslie has experienced a significant improvement in his pain management and quality of life. After months of struggling to find a comfortable position or move without pain, he is now able to sit up, enjoy conversations and walk around the hospice.

Although some discomfort remains, Leslie says the difference has been remarkable. He explained: “Since coming into The Kirkwood, I've nearly got back to normal. I still have a little bit of pain around my bottom, but it's nothing like what I was experiencing before. It's more of a nagging feeling now, almost like an itch you can't scratch. I think I'll probably always have some of that discomfort because of the cancer, but at the moment it's under control with the medication. Before I came here, I couldn't move without being in pain. Now I'm able to get up and walk around a little bit.”

Leslie has also been able to enjoy some of the quieter moments that had become difficult during his illness. During his stay, Elaine took him around The Kirkwood's gardens in a wheelchair, allowing him to enjoy the peaceful surroundings. He said: “Elaine took me around in a wheelchair so I could have a proper look at everything. We went right around the gardens, and I got to see the pond and all the different areas. It was absolutely magic. The gardens are gorgeous.”

Beyond the specialist medical care, Leslie has been particularly touched by the kindness of staff and the welcoming atmosphere throughout the hospice: “The food's good, the people are good, and everything is good,” he said: “Everybody has looked after me so well, and I really couldn't ask for anything more. To be quite honest, I don't really want to go home because I've been looked after so well here. I'm very grateful for everything they've done for me.”

For Jan, seeing her husband comfortable again after months of suffering has been an emotional experience. Reflecting on the care they have received, she shared a particularly moving description of The Kirkwood. She said: “The other day, we were talking about how lovely everything is here, and the only way I could describe it was that this must be what heaven is like with the door shut. That's genuinely how it feels. After everything we'd been through, to come somewhere where Les is treated with such kindness and where people are doing everything they can to make him comfortable is wonderful.”

At the heart of Leslie and Jan's story is a relationship that has lasted more than seven decades. The couple married in 1959 at Huddersfield Register Office. Their wedding celebrations were modest, but one particular memory has stayed with them throughout their marriage. Jan recalled: “We had two witnesses, my mum and my brother-in-law. Afterwards, we went for a coffee and shared a KitKat. That was our wedding celebration! Even now, whenever we see KitKats in the supermarket, we always say that's our wedding cake.”

Starting married life with very little, the couple worked hard to build a future together. Leslie spent his working life as a bricklayer, while Jan worked in the textile industry as a mender, repairing mistakes in woven fabric. Jan said: “We started our married life together with very little. There was only one way we could go, and that was up. We've had our ups and downs like everybody else.”

Despite their playful humour, the love between the couple remains clear. Jan has visited Leslie every day since his admission, and both are looking forward to being reunited at their home in Lindley.

“It's an odd feeling, you know, you feel like your third leg's missing,” Jan said, describing life without Leslie at home.

For Leslie, his wife's wellbeing has remained at the forefront of his mind throughout his stay: “She's been looking after me all this time. That's one of the reasons I want to get home. I want to be back home with my lass.”

While Leslie and Jan are now experiencing The Kirkwood's care firsthand, their relationship with the charity stretches back almost to its earliest days. In 1989, just two years after the hospice first opened, the couple made a decision that would begin decades of support. Having given up smoking, they donated the money they would otherwise have spent on cigarettes over the following year to The Kirkwood. Since then, they have continued supporting the charity through donations and its network of shops.

Jan explained: “We've supported The Kirkwood for a very long time, going right back to when we stopped smoking in 1989. Over the years, we've supported the charity however we could, whether that's been donating money or giving things to the furniture and clothing shops.”

Their family connection has continued through Elaine, who, following her retirement after 19 years with The Kirkwood, now volunteers at the charity's Lindley shop on Wednesday afternoons. Having supported the hospice for so many years, Leslie and Jan now understand on an even deeper level the difference its services make to local families.

As Leslie continues to benefit from specialist care, the couple are hopeful that he will soon be able to return home. While Jan is excited about having her husband back beside her, she admits that the prospect of caring for him again brings some understandable apprehension.

She said: “Once I get my confidence back that I can give him what he's had here, that will make a difference. It's going to be a bit difficult at first, I think, getting used to each other again.”

However, knowing that The Kirkwood's support can continue beyond Leslie's time on the In-Patient Unit has provided reassurance. The couple particularly value the hospice's 24-hour telephone advice service, which means specialist guidance is available whenever they need it.

Leslie said: “It makes me feel great. It makes me feel as though they're still there beside me. They haven't just let you go and told you to paddle your own canoe.”

After months of uncertainty, pain and worry and having witnessed the difference The Kirkwood has made, both Leslie and Jan wanted to say the following to all that are involved in The Kirkwood: “Just thank you, thank you to everyone for everything they've done it means the world.”

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