23 Jun 2025 Patient and Family Stories

“More than a hospice, it’s a place like no other.” Elaine’s story.

When Elaine first walked through the doors of The Kirkwood, it was during one of the most painful chapters of her life. Her husband Stuart had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and after months of hospital visits, uncertainty, and exhaustion, they were finally offered a place at the Hospice in Dalton. What began as a moment of fear and reluctance soon became something else entirely, a sanctuary of compassion, comfort, and dignity. Elaine opens up about how The Kirkwood not only supported Stuart through his final days, but also helped her navigate unimaginable loss, find strength in grief, and begin the journey towards healing.

When Elaine first heard of The Kirkwood, she had no idea just how deeply the Hospice would become entwined with her life.

“The first time I ever heard of The Kirkwood was through the woman who later became my mother-in-law,” Elaine shares. “Her name was Yuna, Una Pearce and she was raising money for The Kirkwood even before it was built. That’s how far back our family’s connection goes. Over the years Una raised thousands for Kirkwood.”

But it wasn’t until many years later, in 2023, that Elaine and her husband Stuart would need The Kirkwood’s care in a very real and urgent way. In December 2022, just days before Christmas, Stuart was diagnosed with stage 4 oesophageal cancer. What followed was months of struggle between hospital admissions and the growing realisation that Elaine could no longer care for him alone at home.

“We were having a horrendous time,” she recalls. “In and out of hospital, pumping him full of blood, nowhere for him to sleep, it was awful. The hospital let us down in many ways.”

It was Elaine’s nieces, two nurses and a palliative care social worker, who recognised the need for hospice care. After making the right enquiries on Elaine’s behalf, a place was found at The Kirkwood in July 2023.

“We didn’t want to come,” Elaine admits. “It felt like the end. But when we got here, we realised it wasn’t. It was the first time in a long while I felt I could sleep. A whole team came in, doctor, physio, dietitian, and said, ‘Let us look after you.’ It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

“One night, Stuart rang me from the bed, even though I was in the same room because he needed help getting to the toilet. I must’ve been fast asleep, for the first time in ages. A nurse came in and said in the nicest of ways, ‘She’s your wife, not your carer. Let us look after you.’ I’ll never forget that.”

Stuart passed away peacefully in The Kirkwood’s Inpatient Unit on 10th August 2023, two weeks after being admitted. Elaine was by his side. Elaine reflects on those final weeks as a time when they were able to reconnect not as carer and patient, but as husband and wife.

“Whilst with The Kirkwood, I stopped being Stuart’s carer and became his wife again. I’d pull my chair right up to his bed and rest my head on his hand. I could just be close to him, be present. It’s something I couldn’t do in hospital, but I could here.”

Elaine and Stuart had been together for 33 years but decided to marry shortly after receiving the terminal diagnosis.

“We got married on 14th April, our anniversary. We’d been together since 1989, and it gave Stuart something to focus on. He wasn’t a romantic man, but in his own way he was.”

Not long after Stuart’s death, Elaine experienced another devastating loss, her brother, Robert. He had been her rock following Stuart’s passing, phoning her every evening to see if she was ok.

“Robert used to ring me every single night to make sure I was all right. After Stuart died, he was my strength.”

But in early 2025, Robert was diagnosed with lung cancer with secondary spread to the liver. He passed away just four weeks later, in March.

“He disappeared before our eyes. It was too quick, too much, especially after losing Stuart.” She said.

Although Robert remained at home, he too received support from The Kirkwood’s community team. Elaine began counselling with The Kirkwood shortly after Stuart’s death. She found solace in the sessions, especially after Robert died just as she felt she was beginning to heal.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to counselling. It’s a great help. I thought I was going mad, but my counsellor, Anne, told me everything I was feeling was normal. That meant everything.

“You don’t get over losing someone you love. You learn to live with it. And talking to someone outside of the situation, someone who really listens, has made that possible.”

Elaine and her family are passionate supporters of The Kirkwood. From marathons and memory walks to funeral donations, they are determined to give back.

“We’ve done so much fundraising, Manchester, Liverpool and Amsterdam marathons, the memory walk. When I retire, I’ll volunteer here for sure. This place saved me.” Elaine commented.

She’s candid about her fear for the Hospice’s future, she said: “It breaks my heart that a place like this has to rely on charity. It’s like being in a hotel, but filled with compassion. You’re treated with dignity, and the worry is lifted. People don’t realise how important The Kirkwood is until they need it. I didn’t.”

“The Kirkwood isn’t just a place where people go to die, it’s a place where people are cared for, where families are supported, and where love and dignity come first. I’ll never stop being grateful for that.”