25 Jun 2025 Patient and Family Stories

Gary’s Story: Breathing Again, How The Kirkwood Gave Me Back My Life

When Gary, a 62-year-old from Meltham, was told his condition was incurable and placed on end-of-life care, he believed his story was nearly over. Struggling to breathe, unable to eat, and rapidly losing weight, he had reached his lowest point, physically and emotionally. Like many, Gary thought The Kirkwood was simply a place people went to die. But what he discovered was something entirely different, it was a place filled with hope, compassion, and the kind of personalised care that doesn’t just treat illness, it transforms lives. This is the story of how The Kirkwood gave Gary back his strength, his confidence, and his will to live. In his own words, Gary shares the journey from hopelessness to recovery, and the huge difference the right care at the right time can make.

Gary, had reached the point where he believed his life was over. His weight had dropped to six and a half stone, and every breath felt like a battle. “At that point, I’d had enough. I was worn out. I couldn’t breathe right, I couldn’t eat properly, I’d lost so much weight, I was down to six and a half stone. I just felt like there was nothing left, I’d given up. I thought this was it.”

He was in and out of hospital, struggling with what doctors eventually diagnosed as Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD). Then came the devastating news that his lung damage was incurable, and he was to be placed on end-of-life care. “Being told your condition is incurable, it’s like someone pulling the floor out from under you. The doctors said, ‘We’re going to put you on end-of-life care,’ and I just thought, ‘Well, that’s the end of the road for me.’ It knocked the wind right out of me.”

Gary was sent home but returned to hospital again just weeks later. His health continued to decline. Breathing was near-impossible, eating was painful, and emotionally, he’d had enough. “My lungs are pretty much gone, I’ve only got about 11% of my lung function left. That’s nothing. I’m on oxygen 24/7. I’ve got inhalers, nebulisers, even machines that help get rid of the carbon dioxide that builds up. It’s not easy. And I was frightened of the machines at first. However The Kirkwood showed me it was there to help, not scare me.”

When doctors suggested Gary go to The Kirkwood, he thought they were simply moving him to die in peace. “I’ll be honest I thought I was being taken somewhere to pass away. I’d been before to visit friends with terminal cancer. I didn’t know the other side of it, how much they do to support people like me, to help us keep going. I see now that The Kirkwood is about giving people more life, not just helping them through the end of it.”

He found that The Kirkwood completely changed his life. Within a week of arriving, Gary could eat again, breathe more easily, and begin to speak without gasping. “They made me feel safe, and bit by bit, they started to build me back up. Within a week, I was eating again. I could talk more, and I was breathing a little easier. I felt like I mattered here. That makes all the difference in the world.”

The support he received wasn’t just medical, it was deeply personal and compassionate. The team taught Gary how to manage his breathlessness, giving him practical strategies and encouragement. “They taught me to stop, slow down, and listen to my body. I used to go at everything like a bull at a gate. They gave me breathing techniques that actually worked. Instead of just struggling through each day, they helped me understand how to live better with what I’ve got.”

Gary had spent months in and out of hospitals where answers changed from day to day. But at The Kirkwood, he found clarity and consistent, human-centred care. “In Halifax (at hospital), I didn’t feel like anyone was really seeing me. One doctor would say one thing, another would say something else the next day. But here, they listened to me. They cared. They did something about it.”

Even after returning home, The Kirkwood continued to be a lifeline for Gary. He said: “If I was struggling at home, I could pick up the phone and someone would be there. No judgement, no delay. They were always ready to help. That kind of support - it’s rare.”

When his condition worsened again, it was his district nurse who noticed, even when Gary said he was doing fine: “They don’t just do a job, they can tell when you’re not ok. Sarah said to me, ‘You can’t fool me, Gary.’ And she was right. They arranged for me to come back to The Kirkwood, and just like before, they turned things around.”

That sense of being truly seen, understood, and cared for was unlike anything Gary had experienced elsewhere. “At home, even though people were coming in to care for me, it didn’t always feel like proper care. It was rushed. It was like they were just going through the motions.”

Now, Gary feels anger and sadness at the pressures The Kirkwood faces due to funding cuts. “It disgusts me how little support places like this get. You hear the government talk about spending millions, but where is that money? It’s not reaching the places that are actually helping people like me. Incredible staff are being made redundant, and it’s heartbreaking. These people deserve better. We all do.”

He’s deeply aware that his story could have ended very differently. “I truly believe if it wasn’t for The Kirkwood, I wouldn’t be here now. They didn’t just get my breathing a bit better or get me eating again, they brought me back when I was ready to give up completely. They gave me something I hadn’t felt in a long time, hope. That’s more powerful than any medicine.”

Today, Gary supports The Kirkwood in any way he can. “I started giving a regular donation, just a little bit each month. I wish I could give more. Because The Kirkwood gave me everything, care, support, dignity, a second chance and most of all more time. How do you put a value on that? You can’t. But giving something back is the least I can do.”

Looking back on his darkest days, Gary is now filled with gratitude. “There was a time I didn’t want to carry on. Everything just felt dark and hopeless. But The Kirkwood pulled me out of that. They reminded me of what living feels like. Now I can see a bit of sunshine again, and I’ll never forget what they did for me.”

And if he could say one thing to others in the same situation, it would be simple. “To anyone who’s in that place I was in, feeling like they can’t carry on, thinking they’re too far gone for help, I’d say this, please give The Kirkwood a chance. I thought I knew what this place was, and I was wrong. It’s better than you think. They’ll help you in ways you never expected.”

Gary smiles now when he thinks of how far he’s come. He said: “I felt like I’d just been left in a dark place and then I got pulled back into the sunshine. That’s what The Kirkwood did for me. They saved my life and I’ll be forever grateful.”