2 Jun 2025 Patient and Family Stories

Finding Comfort in Care, How The Kirkwood Helped Mark

When Mark Priestley’s wife Caroline was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, their world changed overnight. Together, they faced her illness with courage and unwavering practicality, determined to make the best of every moment they had left. As Caroline’s condition worsened, The Kirkwood became a vital lifeline, offering not just expert care for Caroline, but emotional support for Mark and their family. In this deeply personal account, Mark shares their journey, the impact The Kirkwood had on their final weeks together, and why he’s now committed to supporting the hospice that helped his family through the most difficult time of their lives.

When Mark Priestley reflects on the last few months of his wife Caroline’s life, his words are calm but filled with quiet intensity. His story is one of strength, love, and deep gratitude for the care his family received from The Kirkwood.

“My wife Caroline was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in September of 2024,” he begins. “It was completely devastating. But Caroline and I were very pragmatic. Within two hours of being told, we were already saying, ‘OK, what’s the plan?’”

They had always faced challenges as a team. “We were very similar that way,” Mark explains. “Any problem we had, we’d ask: ‘What do we need to do to fix it?’ And then we’d fix it, together.”

Sadly, Caroline’s illness progressed quickly: “She went through two rounds of chemotherapy but then got a really bad infection that developed into sepsis. By the time we got that under control, the cancer had reached stage 4. It had spread to her liver.”

At that point, they knew the outcome was inevitable: “We both knew we couldn’t fix it. Her pain was getting worse, and I couldn’t help her with that. We really needed help.”

That help came in the form of The Kirkwood: “The nursing staff came out to see us, and literally that same day, a bed became available. Caroline was brought down here.”

Mark remembers those first hours at the hospice vividly: “From the moment we got through the door, it was different. Caroline was seen by a doctor straight away, and she got some proper pain relief. It was a massive relief, not just for her, but for me too. She was finally comfortable.”

For Mark, the difference between hospital and hospice care was stark: “The care and attention we got from the staff here, it was completely different to a hospital. And rightly so, because it offers a completely different service.”

He appreciated that the focus wasn’t just on Caroline. “What struck me was that it wasn’t just the patient that was looked after, it was family and friends as well. You felt the care and support from all the staff. And that helped all of us to come to terms with the situation.”

Caroline spent 26 days on the Inpatient Unit before passing away on 12th April 2024: “She didn’t want to die in a hospital. Her wishes was either end her days at home or here. And she passed away as peacefully and with dignity.”

The impact of those final days remains with Mark: “She received amazing treatment and support. I can’t stress enough how much that meant. We knew what the outcome was going to be, it was just about managing things the best we could to make her comfortable.”

Even before Caroline died, The Kirkwood offered Mark bereavement support: “I started seeing Sarah, one of the counsellors here. I probably had two or three sessions before Caroline passed. I didn’t want to be the stereotypical Yorkshire bloke who says, ‘I’m fine, I don’t need it.’ I wasn’t sure if I did, or I didn’t, but it helped.”

Mark continues to attend sessions. “We’ve got another session in a couple of weeks, and we’ll see from there. I don’t want to take up time if someone else needs it more, but Sarah reminds me, ‘You’re important too.’ And that’s stayed with me.”

He says that openness has been key: “Talking to Sarah, talking to friends, talking to family, it’s all helped. I’ve learned not to bottle things up.”

Now, Mark is facing the future with quiet determination and memory filled plans: “I am going on holiday to Wales in June with one of our sons, that’s where we used to go as a family. It might be a bit emotional.” He adds, “In September, I’m going to Dorset on my own, which is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever done. That was our special place. That’ll be a moment.”

He’s also training for the York Marathon: “If my knee holds up, I’ll be doing it. That’s where one of ours son’s got his degree from. The race starts and finishes at the university. I’ll be a complete blubbering wreck, but it’s a way of doing something meaningful.”

Mark is determined to give back to The Kirkwood “I’ll be volunteering, fundraising, donating, whatever I can do to help. But the fact that 80% of the funding has to come from charity? I think it’s a national scandal. Everyone should have the right to die peacefully and with dignity. The Kirkwood makes that possible.”

Looking back, he remembers Caroline not with sorrow, but with deep love and affection: “She had a great laugh, an amazing sense of humour, and she really cared about the boys. She didn’t like having her photo taken, but she had this zest for life. She knew what she liked and didn’t like. She was a true partner, I couldn’t have asked for anyone better. Her strength of character to face her final challenge and never complain is something I cannot even comprehend.”

 He closes with a quiet reminder to others: “You never know when you’re going to need a place like The Kirkwood. One in two of us will get cancer. If this place wasn’t here, it would be a disaster. So whatever I can do, I will. It’s not about me, it’s about the hospice.”

Please help us to continue to support people like Mark and his family by making a regular monthly donation towards our cause, by clicking the link HERE.