3 Sep 2021 Community

The Kirkwood Tree of Memories – Jude’s story

Our Tree of Memories, based at the hospice, is a meaningful way of paying tribute to a loved one. For Jude de Vos, it is a special way of remembering her son, Jody de Vos, who sadly lost his battle with Motor Neurone Disease back in 2017.

Jude de Vos has become an instrumental part of The Kirkwood Movement over the last few years, after experiencing first-hand the care and support our teams provide for patients living with a life limiting illness and their families.

Jody de Vos, Jude’s son, was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease whilst living in Australia. As his condition progressed, Jody moved back to England to receive support from our Specialist Community Nurses at home. Jody went on to spending a short time on our In-Patient Unit for symptom control before spending his final days at his home in Holmfirth.

 

Jude has since spent every day paying tribute to Jody and finding new ways of connecting with her beloved son before turning to our Tree of Memories. Here, Jude shares the importance of the Tree when remembering Jody and how it signifies him in many ways.

“Before Jody died, he planned his own funeral. He said to me ‘mum, I love Australia. I wanted to settle there. Will you take my ashes back?’ And so, I agreed to take them. His sister and I went to Australia about eight months after he died and I managed to secure a little plot overlooking the ocean, about two kilometres from where he lived in Coogee.

“The plot is on a coastal walk between Bondi Beach and Coogee, and it’s a very iconic, historic cemetery. Jody’s ashes are buried next to a beautiful magnolia tree and it is just magnificent. And so perfect because it is amongst nature as well as overlooking the water.

“The first winter after Jody died, I used to go walking up on the moors above Holmfirth and I came across another beautiful tree. It was so beautiful. I photographed it in all weathers, and it’s become to mean something to me.”

 

For Jude, the installation of our Tree of Memories at the hospice goes hand-in-hand with her significance to both the tree in Australia and up on the moor.

“When I happened to visit the hospice and heard about the Tree of Memories; I was blown away. The tree symbolises somewhere Jody was, it gave me something to connect with. I knew Jody, his ashes, were 10,000 miles away and yet he was always with me in the heart.

“But now, I have something to connect with in a place we have both been together. I have a tree where Jody made friends, the staff at the hospice, and I know they all loved him. Many have now become friends of mine; they were so supportive.

“The Tree of Memories is somewhere I can go and visualise the tree in Australia. And I have my own personal tree up on the moors.

 

“The Tree of Memories symbolises the connection for all those lost. There is heartache. But I believe behind every name there is also love, a love that never dies. Seeing all those names, it gives me strength when I visit. Because you realise, you’re not the only one. I love that Jody’s name is part of the tree. I love that he’s memorialised somewhere, and I’ve got a place to go with his name on it.

“I look forward to the day we can walk back through those doors. It will be different for a long time, but I know the tree is always going to be there.”

You can join Jude in remembering your loved one on our Tree of Memories. To find out more, simply click here.