29 Sep 2026 Patient and Family Stories

Nina shares how The Kirkwood was there for John when he needed it most

When Nina’s husband John became increasingly unwell with cancer, she knew that the road ahead would be difficult. However having The Kirkwood by their side meant the couple did not have to face it alone.

John, a hardworking joiner and devoted family man, had been diagnosed with prostate cancer which had spread to his bones. As his condition progressed, Nina found herself not only coming to terms with what the future might hold but also taking on more responsibility for his day to day care.

It was during this incredibly difficult period that the couple were introduced to Rachel, one of The Kirkwood’s palliative care nurses. For Nina, who lives in Highburton, Rachel’s arrival marked a turning point.

Nina said: “Our connection with The Kirkwood began as John’s cancer was progressing. We had been told that the cancer had spread into his bones and we came away feeling completely numb. When we were eventually put in touch with The Kirkwood, it felt as though somebody was finally listening to us. Even though you knew what the eventual outcome was going to be, there was suddenly somebody there walking alongside you.”

Rachel began visiting John and Nina at home, helping them understand what was happening and making sure John was as comfortable as possible. She helped monitor his symptoms and pain, supported the management of his medication and became an important link between the family and other healthcare professionals.

For Nina, Rachel provided something equally important, someone she could trust and lean on. Nina commented: “When Rachel first came to see us, she was like a breath of fresh air. She sat and listened to us, John was in denial about how poorly he was for a long time, right up until he became very ill, but Rachel understood that. She was there as much for me as she was for him.

“I remember the first time we met, when she was leaving, I thanked her and asked if I could give her a hug. I’m from an Italian family, so we do a lot of hugging! Rachel said she had been about to ask whether I wanted one. From that moment we just seemed to bond. Rachel was absolutely brilliant, she made regular visits, kept in contact and helped him manage his pain. She was just that person you needed to lean on.”

As John’s illness progressed, there were periods when he needed hospital treatment before eventually returning home. Throughout the changing circumstances surrounding his care, Rachel remained an important source of support for the family whenever The Kirkwood was able to be involved. Eventually, Rachel recognised that John’s condition had deteriorated and suggested he spend some time on The Kirkwood’s In-Patient Unit, where his needs could be reassessed while also giving Nina some much needed respite.

It was a difficult decision for a couple who had always faced life together, Nina recalled: “John didn’t want to go into the hospice at first. However, he went onto the unit eventually which was the right thing to do. Rachel could see that he was worse than I thought he was. When you are with somebody every day, it can be difficult to recognise exactly how much things have changed. It took that responsibility off my shoulders, knowing that it had got to the point where I wasn’t able to support him in the way he needed anymore.”

John spent around five weeks on The Kirkwood’s In-Patient Unit. He was extremely poorly when he arrived, but after a difficult couple of weeks, Nina began to see him perk up. More importantly, she knew that the responsibility for managing every aspect of his care no longer rested solely on her shoulders.

She continued: “I cannot fault The Kirkwood at all, the care was over and beyond anything I expected. Everybody was so nice, from the volunteers who changed his water two or three times a day to the young girl who came in from the kitchen. She always had a smile on her face and would ask him if he wanted his usual ice cream. It kind of took the pressure off me. I didn’t have to be constantly looking to see how I could make his life more comfortable because I knew everybody was looking after him.”

For Nina, that meant something incredibly precious. After months of caring for the man she had spent almost 48 years married to, she could simply be John’s wife again: “When he was at home, there was always something that needed doing, washing, changing the bed, making sure everything was clean and looking after everything around him. With The Kirkwood, all that stress was taken off my shoulders. I could go in and chat to him. We would put music on and he would listen to Bob Marley. He didn’t speak much towards the end, but I could sit there and talk to him. It gave us that opportunity to spend time together.”

John had spent much of his working life outdoors. A joiner by trade, he was someone Nina describes as a “grafter”. After working for an employer, John went on to work for himself before becoming a subcontractor and ground foreman for larger building companies. His career took him to London regularly and even to The Netherlands, where he was involved in work connected with mobile phone masts. Later, he returned to working locally from his van and could turn his hand to all kinds of jobs.

One of his last major projects at home was modernising the couple’s kitchen and dining room. That love of being outdoors stayed with John throughout his life. He and Nina enjoyed holidays in Greece and Italy, where Nina has family roots, and he particularly loved feeling the warmth of the sun. It meant that one of Nina’s favourite memories from John’s time with The Kirkwood came when the team helped him outside on a beautiful summer's day.

Nina said: “When he first went into The Kirkwood, I remember looking at him and thinking, ‘He needs some sunshine on him.’ One day we just got him outside and he was lying there in his bed with his sunglasses on. He loved being in the sunshine. He had worked outside a lot as a joiner, and we had enjoyed lots of holidays abroad over the years. It was nice for him to have some warm sunshine on his skin. I think it made him feel human again.”

Behind the illness was a man whose family meant everything to him. Nina and John had been married for just short of 48 years when John died on 21st July 2026. Their next wedding anniversary would have been on 5th August.

Even during his funeral, Nina found a way to reflect the humour that had been part of their life together: “I reminded him at the funeral that he had managed to get away without buying me another wedding anniversary present,” she laughed.

One of the greatest joys during John's final year was the arrival of his grandson, Enzo. Enzo arrived at the end of December 2025. Nina believes meeting his new grandson gave John something special to focus on during his illness.

“I think Enzo gave John something to look forward to,” she said: “Towards the end, John wouldn’t really talk to the adults very much, but Enzo could sit on his bed and smile at him and John would smile back and hold his hand out towards him, family meant a lot to John.”
Although John eventually became well enough to leave The Kirkwood and move to a nursing home, the five weeks he spent on the In-Patient Unit left a lasting impression on Nina.

After John died, The Kirkwood continued to be there for her. Rachel contacted Nina following his death and our team made sure she knew bereavement and counselling support remained available whenever she needed it. For Nina, the difference between being surrounded by medical equipment and being somewhere that still felt warm, personal and full of life was hugely important.

“The Kirkwood never felt like somewhere somebody was dying,” she said. “It was light, welcoming and homely. We had such a beautiful summer and they could push John outside into the sunshine. It didn’t feel like a hospital environment. Those five weeks with The Kirkwood were like having an army of angels around us. They lifted me up and gave me a bit of hope.”

Nina believes having specialist palliative care available locally is vital, particularly for families who are trying to care for somebody they love while dealing with the emotional impact of knowing that person is approaching the end of their life.

She said: “The Kirkwood gives families that reassurance that you have been doing things right, but helps you recognise when it has got to the point where professionals need to step in. People deserve to be comfortable and to have as near as painless a death as possible. Services like The Kirkwood are so important.”

Today, Nina continues to support The Kirkwood in memory of her husband. She has signed up to The Kirkwood Lottery, donates clothes to her local The Kirkwood shop and supports fundraising events whenever she can. In recent years she has also chosen to donate money to The Kirkwood rather than sending Christmas cards.

She is now arranging for an engraved leaf dedicated to John to be placed on The Kirkwood’s Memory Tree, creating a lasting tribute to the man with whom she shared almost five decades of her life.

And for anybody who finds themselves in the position Nina and John once did, unsure about what hospice care means or apprehensive about making that first call, Nina has a simple message.

She said: “I would absolutely encourage anybody who thinks they might need The Kirkwood’s support to get in touch. You might have an idea of what a hospice is going to be like, but The Kirkwood is warm, welcoming and homely. Having people around you who understand what you are going through can make such a difference.”

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