18 Jan 2024 Community

How The Kirkwood counselling service has helped Julie and Mark - here is their story

The Kirkwood are here to support people who are going through the most traumatic times in their lives. One of the biggest services we provide is our counselling service. The people that speak to our counsellors regularly find it useful and, in some circumstances, lifesaving, where they feel they can discuss whatever may be on their mind in a safe and comfortable setting.

We continue to care for hundreds of people across the Kirklees community with a life limiting illness. We can only do this with people’s very generous donations towards The Kirkwood, your donations make a huge difference with every penny going back into patient care. If you would like to make a donation click the link HERE and help us to support life. 

One couple who have benefitted from our counselling service is Julie and Mark. Julie, 62 and Mark 66 from Lindley have been accessing our services for a year or so now and have found it very beneficial overall in how they cope with daily life.

The couple have been married for 40 years and have been through a lot in that time. Mark is bravely dealing with several things both physically and mentally. Julie has also gone through her own grief after losing her mother Norma.

Mark was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis over 30 years ago and more recently has been told that he has heart failure which is a life limiting illness. He has received support from various local nurses and has been in hospital several times. He also contracted Covid-19 which made him seriously ill.

On the support Julie has given to Mark, she explained: “My journey started with The Kirkwood in 2022 when we both accessed the counselling service.

“My husband had been ill for quite a few years, he has rheumatoid arthritis, he's had lots of operations, loads of medications and we've been all over the country. Just before Covid-19 hit this country he became ill, and he nearly lost his hand through what they call Cellulitis, he ended up having extensive surgery on it.

“Mark unfortunately caught Covid-19 and he became very ill. He ended up with septicemia, thankfully the ambulance crew came very quickly.

“Thankfully my husband got better to a certain degree, however had a very traumatic episode in hospital which reminded him of a past experience in his life. He didn't see anybody there in hospital because no one could visit him and because he was vulnerable, they kept him in a side room.

“Although they were good with him there wasn’t a lot of contact with him and so he was on his own for many hours. Due to that he started to suffer mentally.

“Mark has also been diagnosed with heart failure and that is life limiting, so he’s dealing with quite a lot of things. We came to The Kirkwood to get help and support and counselling, it’s changed our lives for the better now we have accessed those services.”

Julie has been a nurse since 1979 and worked in the profession all her life. As Mark was receiving counselling, Julie herself decided she would like to speak to someone and be able to articulate her thoughts to an independent person and someone who was going to listen to what she was going through, especially after the death of her mother.

She said: “I've been a nurse since 1979 and as a nurse you are used to protecting other people and making sure everyone is ok, so when you are not ok yourself, it is hard to come to terms with that.

“My mum died just after the pandemic had ended and so I was supporting my husband with what he had been going through and then I went through a lot of feelings when she died. Mark was very close to my mum and so it was a real blow to us all. I just felt I needed to talk to someone independent who would listen and thankfully I have been able to do that with The Kirkwood.

“My first understanding of what The Kirkwood was about was that it was a hospice for patients that were poorly and that they provided end of life care. The Kirkwood goes above and beyond for people, and I have seen that first hand now.

“I thought it was just a place where people were cared for at the end of their lives. I didn’t know about the counselling and the other services that they provide up until accessing them myself.

“We feel a lot better when we have both talked to our counsellors, I can see a difference in Mark when he has spoken to his councillor, his mood is uplifted and that to me means the world. We support each other in our counselling which is an amazing feeling.

“I can’t thank The Kirkwood enough for the help and support they have provided me and Mark over the last year or so, and we are certainly going to continue to access the service moving forward. I would encourage anyone who feels they need to talk to someone to contact The Kirkwood, it could really help.”